All Because of him - (1/1)
by Erica1
Summary: Liz's POV during what happened in the End Of the World


'I need you to help me fall out of love with you'. Who? Who was this man talking about? My heart fell as I realized he was talking about Max and I. This future version of Max needs me to help him fall out of love with me. Why? Can't I have peace with Max? After everything that has happened between us this past year? Some one is always intruding with our relationship. First it was The FBI. Tess Harding and her father who was the shape shifting alien known as Nasedo? And now a future version of the man I love has come to the past. What's next? Why do I have to do this? Why did he come to me? Couldn't he have went to Tess? I ask him why and his face became serious and he answered my question truthfully. It's you I trust. It's you I have faith in. Why does he have to have trust in me? Why? I ask him why I need to do this and what he informs of, makes everything harder that it already is. The entire world is placed on my shoulders. The shoulders of Liz Parker. I don't want to do this. But I have to. Because if I don't, then....the end of the world will come. And I won't let that happen. Even if I have to give up my future with Max. After I walked away from Max that day at the cave, I felt nothing could ever get any worse than what life was like after that day. I cried helplessly at night. I was a walking zombie. My eyes held no life in them. The life that was once in them, was taken away that day when I walked down the cliff. I was there...sure in Florida. But my heart and soul was in a completely different place. I went to Tess at the Valenti's. And I talked to her like Max told me to do. I told her that she was the who belonged with Max. She was his destiny. And my next words, pulled strings at my heart. Yeah, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for Max. His future's you. My heart was ripped out of my chest and then placed on the ground and someone stomped on it with all its might. Over and Over. Stomp...Stomp...Stomp. I was the one who belonged with Max Evans. I told myself that each night I was away. And then I remembered what I heard that day at the cave. I have sent with you your young bride. And that was when my mind told me I was not his young bride. I was just a normal teenage girl who he saved from dying. How could I have said his future is with her? Tess was not Max's future. I was. I have always pictured myself in a church with Maria and Isabel helping me do my hair and make-up. Talking to me and telling me how in love Max and I are in. That we are the perfect example of soulmates. Max in his own room with Michael and Alex helping him calm down as his wedding jitters kick in. I see my self walking down that aisle, my arm locked with my father. He smiles warmly at me as he places my hand in Max's. And the tears form in the creases of his eyes as he comes to realization that he has lost his baby girl. She is not his anymore. Now she belongs to Max Evans. I knew that going to Tess wouldn't work. I knew it as clear as day. But I had to do as the future version Max asked me. I wanted to scream at the future version of Max to leave me alone. To go somewhere else. Back to his home planet. Anywhere but here in Roswell. Just leave me alone. I went to Max that night. As I reached his window where I found myself at many times when I felt I just needed to see him, to be close to him. I knocked gently on the window and he answered. He chest was bare. And I just imagined my self running my fingers over his chest. I swallowed and gained composure. It didn't help. I told Max so many lies. Lies spilled out my mouth. One after the other causing his heart to break and shatter. I...I want to be in love with boys...normal boys. Normal is Max. He is my normal. I...I want to have a wedding day. Why can't I have a wedding day with Max? I...I...I want to have children...and I want my children to be safe. I want to have my children with you. Only you. You know, Max, if...if you truly love me, you'll let me go. Don't listen to these lies Max. Don't listen to them. Please. I may love you... I love you with every thing I have in my body. Your my life. I wake up each morning so I can be with you. And without you, I can't live. I...I don't want to die for you. What a lie? I would die for you now. A day from now. A year later. I would die any day for you. And I left him there. Shattered. His heart on the floor in a million pieces. And I stomped on them. One single tear fell down his cheek. More came. And they came one after the other. And they wouldn't stop. He tried to keep them from unleashing, but he failed. Why couldn't things have been different? I walked alone down the streets. I didn't want go back there. He was still there. And while he is there, I can't function. I can't do this any more. I can't take this. I broke Max's heart and for that I may never be able to look at Max again. I shouldn't even be walking these streets. I climbed up my balcony's ladder, and I found the future version of Max there. I joined him, and I sobbed uncontrollably. I cried until my eyes couldn't cry any more. He reached for a tissue, so I could dry my eyes. That can't help me. Nothing can help me now. As he reached for the tissue, his hand when through it. I didn't know what was happening. Is he leaving now? Is this the end? He pulled his hand out, and our eyes were locked. And I found them, identical to my Max's eyes. I thought that this was the end for him. But it wasn't. He was still here, and that meant Max was still in love with me. Didn't he know that Max will never all out of love with me? Didn't he know that we were soul mates? It didn't work. Telling Max all of those lies, didn't work. He wanted me to do more damage to Max. "I can't do it. I can't do anything else to Max. He doesn't deserve it," I cried to him. The salty tears began to find there way back onto my cheeks. Why do I have to do this? What else could possibly work now? I gave in to his pleads after he told me that he held Michael in his arms just 15 minutes before he left his home, and Isabel died two weeks before, I knew I had to do it at that moment. Michael and Isabel were his family. Part of his race. The only connection he had to his home planet. He needed them. And our love wasn't going to destroy them. No. That was what my mind was telling me to do, but my heart...My heart was telling me something completely different. Later that night, I went down to the Crashdown. Michael and Isabel were there, laughing, loving to be alive. Maria saw me spying on them, and she was torn. Her heart was broken in a million pieces. Her eyes held nothing in them. No Life. No Love for Michael. Nothing. She informed of her current crisis. Michael Guerin could be such a jerk. He had the nerve to be at Courtney's apartment. And he knew that Maria had not given up on him. Even if he wasn't the greatest boy friend to her, he shouldn't have done that. As I was talking to her, I began to think of a way to get Max to fall out of love with me. Kyle Valenti. Walking to his house, my heart was telling me to turn around and run straight into Max's arms. But I couldn't. I took Kyle back to my balcony. This was going to hurt Max the worst. I knew it in my heart. This was the end. The end of everything between Max and I. Love. Friendship. We were nothing now. The future version of Max thought if the present day Max caught me in bed with Kyle, he wouldn't be jealous. But, I knew Max. And this would tear him apart. It would killl him to see this. Why Max...Why did you have to come here? Kyle and I laid there in bed together, are distance kept. Nothing touched. My breaths became deeper and faster as I saw the face of Max coming to my window. As he looked into the window, his face fell. My leg was found sticking out from under my comforter...bare. Kyle's chest was revealed as well. Max's eyes went from optimistic to hopeless. Max left my house full of despair and anger. This is all my fault. Max please come back. I need you. I wanted to scream those words to him, but my lips would not move. I couldn't get up and run to Max for the matter my legs were glued together with the most stickiest glue. Kyle leaned over to me and whispered, "I guess it worked". No I will not believe that. It's not over. It is just not. My mouth finally opened and I got up from my bed, my hands tightly around the towel to keep it from revealing my body to Kyle Valenti. Just of that thought, goose bumps formed on my body. That's just nasty. I told Kyle to leave me alone. I told him to get out of my house. He left with no questions asked. Future Max came out of my bathroom, and he developed me into his arms. He rocked me back in forth and whispered soothing words in my ear. It'll be okay, he whispered. No. Nothing will be okay now. I got dressed and went out to my balcony. The cool air hit me full force causing me to pull my jacket closer to me. As I looked behind me, I found the future Max right there. Telling him to go away wouldn't work. Max would never leave me alone in this state. We sat on the ledge of my balcony together. I wanted to scream at him to go away. Leave me alone. But surprisingly, I didn't. He reached for my hand and I took it. We intertwined our fingers together. "Liz, you will find someone else. There is someone else out there waiting for you," he said. No....There will never be another you. "Max, there will never be another you. I will never find another person who I love as deeply as I love you. There will never be a person who I look at and I find there eyes jus as soulful and deep as yours. There won't be a guy who risked his entire existence because he loved me. There is no guy in this world who can be compared to you. It's impossible. I don't Kyle or any other guy in this world I want you. Max Evans. The guy who I love and always will," I said tenderly. As I look into Max's eyes, I find them filled with unleased tears. They erupt and fall down his pale cheeks. "Are you going to be with Tess now? I mean is my Max going to be with Tess? Did it work," I ask. He shrugs his shoulders and looks down to the ground. "I don't know anything anymore. Everything is going to be determined now," he whispers. Silence passes between us, and I begin to stand. He looks up at me and he finds my eyes. "I want my wedding dance before you leave. I will never have it. I will never have my wedding with Max," I said. I hold out my hand for him to take. He does. He pulls me close to his body. And the song 'I shall believe' began to fill our ears. He swayed to the music. He twirled me around. And that last time, my hair covered my face, and I could not see. As I moved the hair from in front of my face, I found that there was nothing there. Max was gone. He was no where to be found. I slumped to the ground and I began to weep for...I lost track of all the times I have cried tonight. That night, I fell asleep laying on my balcony. My knees were pulled up to my chest. My arms were strung out in front of me. My eyes were puffy and cheeks were stained. Days passed. I haven't seen Max at school. He hasn't come in to the Crashdown on the days when Tess, Michael and Isabel have. I finally have enough courage to go the home of the Evans's. When the house came into my view, I stop mid way. I began to remember the night I went to him and told him all of those lies. I pondered on whether to go to his window or to knock on the door. The window, I decided. I walk into the Evans's yard and I stop at the window which belonged to Max. As I look into the window, I find his room empty. His belongings were gone. His lap top computer was missing as well. The only thing left was the furniture and a small picture of Max and I. He didn't take it.I quickly became full of fear that something has happened to Max. I rush around to the door, and I knock loudly enough for everyone to hear. The door opens and a teary eyed Mrs. Evans is revealed. "Liz what are you doing here," she asked confusingly. "I'm here to see Max. Is he around," I ask. Her eyes fall and I hear the sounds of her silent cries. "Liz, you don't know. Max left Roswell," she explains. I nod and I run. I run as far as I can to get away from that home. He left Roswell all because of me. And I never got to say good-bye.  
  
  
  



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